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April may be the cruelest month, but this July has definitely been the oddest.

Besides AT&T's line being busy and Brooks Pharmacy losing their decapitator (see Friday the 13th's post), I had some interesting experiences with the big cancer tests early this week.

Monday, I went to have a MUGA scan (fancy echocardiogram) and a brain MRI. With the MUGA, they just ask you to remove your bra and put your shirt back on. When I went to have the brain scan, the tech opened a little room for me, told me to take off everything and put on the cute little top and the cute little bottoms. I reminded him that I was having a brain scan. "New rule", he said.

Tuesday I had my PET/CT. I was practically insane by the time I got there, having endeavored for weeks to get someone to help me to get my blood sugar low enough that I could have the test (long technical explanation eliminated here). I succeeded, no thanks to the medical establishment. A nice lady greeted me at 8:45 a.m. at the hospital and brought me into a familiar room. She then asked me my date of birth, which is one of the things they often do to make sure they don't mix up patients. But when I said "11/14/51", she said, "Oh...and when was your last period?" By now I was sure either I or she was indeed insane. I burst out laughing and said, "Years". She looked at me and said, "There's a new rule".

This sounded familiar, but I still wasn't sure what was coming. Did they want me to take all my clothes off? No, the rule was that if you're a female, 55 and under, and it's been more than a month since you've had a period, they have to do a pregnancy test on you.

It was negative. Let's just hope the other tests are too. I hope to find out tomorrow.

May
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