Thursday, June 28, 2007

The God Rock

. . .
Just one person's opinion, I suppose.

I like it.

. . .

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

. . .
Zen stands on my chest. His long ginger-colored fur would wake me gently, if it were not for all the sensitive spots he manages to step on (partly on purpose, I suspect). Scar tissue in the right breast, fibrosis underneath, puzzling tenderness in the left breast, and residual soreness from the cancer and irradiation of my sternum. I reach up to pet him, to try to get him to lie down, but he wants both hands. I am too groggy to give them both for long, so he gives me a warning bite on the idle arm. It doesn't hurt at all. Fortunately, Mr. Cardinal begins his morning song right outside the window above my pillow, and Zen abandons me for the window sill. His energetic takeoff makes me wince, but at least now I can turn on my side and go back to sleep.

This is a time of great stress for John and me. I am on chemo again, and my diabetes is out of control, so the last thing I feel like doing is packing for our move. John is on a 24-hour heart monitor, so that his new electrophysiologist (a cardiologist who specializes in arrhythmias) can try to determine a way to treat his atrial fibrillation. And then there's a big megillah I won't talk about here, having to do with his family, something that has made me entirely lose faith in the press, and brought back all my seething hatred for the Department of Corrections, or, as my son always calls it, the Department of Corruption.

Despite my crankiness, I am looking forward to tomorrow's Midsummer ritual. It looks like we'll have 10 to 15 people, or maybe even more! I really need this, so I'm very pleased that it looks like even the weather will cooperate.

I also managed to get another photo done, and I think it came out really well.

It actually has four watchers on eBay, so I'm hoping it will sell.

May your day bring you everything you need.

. . .

Friday, June 15, 2007

Four New Photos

. . .
The Tired Goatherd

Lucky Number

Keep Out

Cross with Lichens

Enjoy the miracle,
. . .

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

American Values

I'm wondering what happened to freedom of speech, when those of us who don't approve of the war in Iraq have to keep our mouths shut to avoid being called traitors.

I'm wondering what happened to the concept that you are
innocent until proven guilty, when Adam Gault and Ann Murphy have been thoroughly crucified in the press and by numerous ordinary citizens within a week of the breaking of the sensationalist story of the police finding a missing girl at their house.

I'm wondering what happened to the 8th Amendment to the Constitution, when prisoners like my son are underfed, beaten up, had medication and medical treatment withheld, and it's not considered cruel and unusual punishment.

I'm wondering what happened to freedom of religion, e.g., the blatant refusal for so long of the U.S. Government to provide a headstone with the pagan symbol, the pentacle (which stands for earth, air, fire, water, and spirit), for a soldier who died defending his country in Iraq, while allowing the symbols for Eckankar, founded in 1965; Bahai, which is based on the the belief that "the world’s religions represent stages in the revelation of God’s will and purpose for humanity" (ha! bet most Christians'd get their backs up at that!), Tenrikyo and several other panentheistic Shinto-related religions; the United Church for Religious Science; the Church of World Messianity, whose "key concept is Johrei, claimed to be a method of channeling divine light into the body of another for the purposes of healing"; Mormonism, which just leaves me downright speechless (though I'd love to get a hold of some of that underwear); and even atheism, whose symbol is an atom. (At least that problem has been solved, after a huge flap.)

And I'm wondering how anyone can still call the United States the "greatest country in the world" when our refusal to sign on to the Kyoto protocol may spell doom for our beautiful blue planet.

I'm finding it really, really hard to be "proud to be an American" at this particular time.

. . .

Saturday, June 09, 2007

. . .
Well! The good news is that my oncologist thinks there may be some very good reasons why my liver enzymes continue to go up. The bad news is, one of the reasons he thinks it may be happening is that my blood sugar is hovering around 300. My response when the rather startled nurse showed me the labs was, "Holy shit". Not very original, perhaps, but certainly sincere.

I continue to live as if I'm going to continue to live for a year or two more. We just bought the cutest little hutch, which will fit against the thick wall between the kitchen and living room in the new house. The door opening is pretty wide, so I don't think it will make it inconvenient to get from one room to the other. The hutch we have now is too big, and I also hate it. So I'm pleased with this particular outcome.

I don't have much profound to say right now (like you care, right?). I'm having a lot of fun preparing for the Midsummer ritual on the 21st. I may have to add a lot of coffee to my Ritalin to get through it, but it really should be a blast. I'm hoping John will feel like videotaping it, as long as the faeries don't mind.

It's a beautiful, cool, rainy weekend, and I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am.

. . .

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Aha! Well, Alycia, serves you right for checking in with that last comment. You've been tagged! I need seven unusual or little-known random facts about you, then you're supposed to tag seven other bloggers.

Today is the second meeting of my guru Pat's Crones group on the subject of Death & Dying. I am the resident dying person. I really need this--need to talk about it, need to hear others' thoughts about it. Besides, we do potluck, so I get to eat stuff that pains John when I eat it in front of him.

Ain't life grand. I'm looking forward to reading Alycia's seven facts. They should be awesome.


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Well, I've been tagged!

I don't know why, but I love these things. I love reading unusual tidbits about people--we are all so different and complex! So thank you Katey, and thank you for your very kind compliment on my art piece in the previous blogpost.

Okay, this time I'm to list seven random facts about myself, then tag others so they can do the same thing. I'm not sure I know seven bloggers, but I'll do the best I can.

1. I was born on a full moon.
2. I have two Irish style polkas published in a book called "The Complete Book of Clawhammer Banjo".
3. I was elected to Phi Beta Kappa--twice, under two different names!! (I must be really smart, dontcha think?)
4. I have read the Bible, Don Quixote, and War & Peace all the way through.
5. I was pronounced clinically dead at the age of six months due to anaphylactic shock from a hornet sting. An epinephrine injection in my heart, in the ambulance, brought me back.
6. I have had one out-of-body experience.
7. I once bought the same book three times. And yes, it was that good. And no, I'm not lying about the Phi whatsis whatsis...never mind.

Are you disappointed? Were you hoping for "true confessions"? Sorry, I'm somewhat boring in that regard.

Okay, Katey, now I have to find seven others--I might have a prayer of finding a few eBay art group members who haven't already been tagged. Thanks a lot! Just kidding ;>) The one I'm starting with is a friend named Carrie, then I'll start looking around.


Saturday, June 02, 2007

Love Leaving

. . .
Here are an old poem and a new digital collage on similar themes.


Love, when it leaves
is like a bird flown south
for the winter.

You know it is somewhere--
trembling with life
clinging to some luscious vine or sapling
while you are left with
vacant branches
in the songless skies.

Love, when it leaves
is like the fleeing monarch.
love congregates somewhere--
myriad beating wings in dense moist green
so distant
from your own arid heart.

. . .